These super freakish, crazy green bananas, are still nowhere close to ripe… the waiting game continues, my friends… the game continues…
Apparently KJ raided the prop closet of the new “Green Lantern” movie and got these bananas. Thanks to my previous encounter with these things, I now know to eat the yellowish ones first because I’ve come to know the meaning of “ripe” versus “unripe.” We both look forward to eating these in a few years when they ripen…
KJ was leaving for church yesterday when she asked me advice on her outfit. A simple question, “Is this skirt too short?” I decided to take the advice of many readers of this blog and gave her my honest opinion, “No, looks good to me.” I thought this would be a safe testing ground, because she wasn’t going out to some party or some fancy event. It was just church… what could go wrong?
Well, she was propositioned. As a prostitute.
Here’s what happened… As she walked towards the church, an older Russian gentleman walking his dog said, “Hi.” She said “hi” back and commented on how cute his dog was…
He responded with, “Are you working?” “I’m sorry, what?” “Are you working today?”
She then realized the man was asking if she was a prostitute, and if she was ‘on duty’ to ‘work’ today. “Uh, no…” as she quickly dashed for the church.
Aaaaaaaand, that’s why it’s probably not a good idea for me to give KJ fashion advice.
She called me and told me the story on her way home. So naturally, I took a picture as she walked through the door. You judge for yourself… Too short?
KJ always asks me advice on what she’s wearing before we go out. “Do these shoes match this top?” “How do these pants look?” “Belt or no belt?” And every time, I literally respond the same way, “I don’t know.” I honestly have no clue what to say.
I am not a follower of fashion. My “look” has consisted of a T-shirt and jeans scenario since I can remember and my haircut hasn’t changed since the 8th grade (the year I did away with my bowl cut).
She tells me to just look at her, and answer this simple question, “do these match or not???” Here’s the problem… it always matches. And always looks good to my eye. She can’t look bad in anything to me.
The reason I stick with my, “I don’t know” answer is because I don’t want to send her out into the world looking like a freak. I have a fear that we’ll be out and she’ll turn to me and say something like, “people are giving me looks, I knew this top didn’t match these shoes, why did you say they looked good???” I can’t do that to her. So, I just say, “I don’t know” to everything. She’ll reply, “but you’re an artist (of sorts), you have opinions on EVERYTHING. Why can’t you just tell me if this looks good???” “I don’t know.”
Is that fair? Should I know more about women’s fashion? Or give her more of an opinion? How does it work with you? Do you ask your mate how you look?
Here’s the worst part, and I hate to admit this, but before we go out, I ALWAYS ask her how I look. If my shirt fits right, my hair, etc. Is it fair for me to ask her, and for her to always respond, but for her to ask me, and for me to always say, “I don’t know”?
When KJ and I decided to move in together, we made a deal: One of us pays ¾ rent, the other pays ¼. The same person that pays ¾ rent also pays utilities and 1/2 groceries, while the person who pays ¼ the rent, cooks, cleans, does laundry and pays the other 1/2 of the groceries.
Here are the questions I pose to you: Who has the better deal? Or is it even? And does it matter? Should there be a deal like this in place at all when moving in together?
What’s the deal between you and your significant other?
(keep in mind, due to financial reasons, all costs cannot be split down the middle 50/50)
KJ works out every morning in tight booty shorts, in front of our big dining room windows, for all the world’s dog-walkers to see. In my mind, our neighbors across the street are throwing daily viewing parties of the event. Part of me is possessive of KJ and her booty and the shorts that encapsulate it, preferring her to workout in a room without windows… the bathroom, maybe? But another part of me wants to yell down to the street, “Ha! Look! Look what I got!” How would you feel if your lady (or guy) was flaunting their goods for everyone to enjoy? Here’s a video to give you a sense of what the neighborhood is experiencing on a daily basis…
My girlfriend bought 6 bananas, for 19cents each. 3 were slightly green and 3 were slightly brownish/yellow. For the next few days, I proceeded to eat the slightly green ones. This led to a fight about me not eating the ripe bananas first. It was at that point that I learned, 29 years into my life, that a ripe banana is a yellow/brown banana and a green one is not. The only thing I could think of was to give her 57 cents for the 3 bananas that went bad. She did not accept my offer.