Last week, my parents came to town for a visit. We’ve got a 2bed/1bath scenario, so it was a snug fit. The reason it was a bit tighter than usual is… my parents are divorced. Have been since I was 7 years old. Yes, they traveled together, my dad picking up my mom and driving both of them to the airport. Yes, they sat next to each other on the plane, trading magazines for neck pillows. And yes, they both stayed with us, one on the couch in my office, and one on the couch in our living room. If they were still married, we would’ve easily given them the master bedroom, but, as you can imagine, that was not an option in this particular scenario.
In fact, we decided to get out of town to go to Santa Barbara for the weekend. Many of the hotels were booked however, due to a half-marathon. So, we ended up having to stay in a 1-bedroom suite at a hotel… 1 bed, 1 sofa bed. That’s where the fun began. KJ and I opted to sleep on the floor, giving my father the sofa bed, and my mother the queen bed. They would not accept that arrangement and insisted that KJ and I take the bed. After a LOOOONG back and forth, we said okay to the bed, and they settled on the sofa bed. Yes, “they,” meaning the both of them. But my mom had two very clear conditions for my father… 1) “We must sleep head-to-toe.” And 2) “We must build some kind of little wall of pillows and blankets to act as a barrier.”
Well, as you can imagine, my father’s reply was something to the effect of, “Are you kidding? What’s the big deal? What do you think, I’m going to attack you in the middle of the night???” My mom replied simply, “We haven’t slept in the same bed in 22 years. Those are my terms, take them or the floor. Your choice.”
Here’s a picture KJ snuck of their settled sleeping arrangement and the “wall”:
It’s hard to imagine that these two people were once married. They’ve gone from married and in love to building a little wall to make sure that there’s absolutely no chance of skin on skin contact. And this is a better scenario than most divorces. Many parents don’t even speak to each other or see each other anymore.
So, is it worth it? I know they say the divorce rate is about 50%. You’ve got a 50/50 shot of making it.
What’s the case with your parents? Are they still married? Happy? Or are they divorced and building little bedding walls? (I have a feeling my parents are a unique scenario, but could be wrong??) Or are they divorced and not speaking?
I do really feel lucky that my parents, although divorced, are as close as they are. It gives me hope for the future, any future. Here’s a video of their stay here, just to give you a sense of their relationship…
Sorry for the long post. Next week I’ll just post another banana video or something ☺
My parents divorce was awful at first. They refused to sit next to each other, or be even be in teh same room if they could help it. As the years have gone on (21 years since the divorce), they have mellowed out a lot. They both talk about how they love each other, and my mother even visits and brings food and gifts to my dad in the care home he is living in now. I love seeing the love that they had for each other come back now, even after all the years of pain they inflicted each other (and my sister and I). I can’t help but think that even though their marriage didn’t work for the long haul they both don’t regret the 13 years they had together before it all fell apart. That it was worth it all (not including the amazing kids they got out of it 😉 ).
My parents have been married for 47 years. They may not like each other all the time, but they definitely love each other 🙂
My parents were married for 60 years and only knowing each other for 5 months before getting married. Wow! Does that even happen anymore? The had some rough spots but I believe they truly loved each other to the end.
My parents have been married close to 38 years now. It amazes me that they are still together because they fight so, so much, about the same things, over and over again.
They have often discussed buying a duplex, where the only “shared” room is the bedroom. I wish they would.
I really enjoyed reading this post. I really hate that statistic, the 50/50. Come to think of it I really hate that word, “divorce”. Reading about your parents, I think they are doing okay. And by the sound of it so are you. I think that is the key, to get through something so crappy as that and still be able to have a vacation together in a one suite hotel in Santa Barbara. Thanks for sharing.